Is He Out There?

Every single women I know has had that thought...people say God created someone for everyone, at least everyone that wants a someone! I think many of today's single woman have given up on that pie in the sky, pot of gold at the end of the rainbow dream. I'm sure that half the men that these women have been searching for are either in prison or living some crazy alternative lifestyle!

I persist however in my lifetime obsession of trying to match make everyone who is alone! I can't help it, and I don't know what it is about me that makes me feel that everyone has to be with someone! Sadly, there isn't someone for everyone or to put it immortal words of my friend's grandmother, "is it the someone worth giving up your aloneness for"? That's always something to be considered!!

Yesterday I was at it again. There is this guy I met recently and this girl I met even more recently that I thought might make a "love" connection. She seemed a little more interested than he did, but he smiled big and acted friendly when they met. I don't know if anything will become of it. Is it a budding romance or just two folks graciously going through an uncomfortable "set-up".
Sometime I think it might be time to retire my matchmaker and then I remember SMM and JLD, and I know...I can't give it up yet! Just two more good ones and I'll quit, I promise!!

It's been a long time

This morning I was up at 5:30, yes, it's Saturday, but there was a meeting to attend. In this life, there always seems to be something to steal Saturday, but no matter, most of the time, its worth it...today was no different. Following the meeting, the gang all went to lunch and just hung out for a few minutes.

It's been raining here for the last 3 days, overflow from Faye, but the sun finally broke through this afternoon so, there was plenty of heat and humidity!!
Karen and I had made plans yesterday to go to a movie and we headed over to the theather near the office to see Hancock. It is a different movie, it was interesting and good. Karen and I both enjoyed it!! Then ran by the grocery store on our way to Ron and Kathy's.

Ron had decided that the Choir badges needed to be inserted in the badge covers so at about 5pm we started the badge stuffing process. His reward for us helping him was that he would order pizza and ice cream for dessert. What fun we had, laughing at stupid jokes and just enjoying one another, Ron, Kathy, Maynette, Karen and I had such an enjoyable evening. We ordered the pizza and watched "No Reservations" while we ate, worked and reminised. It been a long time since I laughed like that! It so much fun to get together with old friends and just be silly sometime! Ron, of course was the target of most of our fun!! The only thing that could have made it better is for Drine, Bob and family, Jenny and the Pylants to be there!!

We've got to get that reunion planned!!

Not Broken

First let me apologize for my absence! It's been partly being out of pocket and another part being lazy! In my absence however, I have been doing some thinking, so I will be sharing about some of those thoughts with you here!

One thought is about Bible people. Have you ever wondered about the people Bible stories are written about. They seem to weather all kinds of junk and still stand strong. There are days that I wish for that measure of faith and other days when I am almost sure I already have it. There are those days when I am sure I could slay a dragon should one be fool enough to try me and days when I do my fool best just to get out of bed!

The Bible says in 2 Corinthians that we would be pressed...but not destroyed!! Some times it seems as though we aren't only pressed, but flattened like a pancake, and those are the days when it isn't so easy to jump back up, shake yourself out and get back into the race. But guess what? Those are the very days that we need to the most.

I read a devotional written by my former pastor and he talked about exerting pressure on a balloon, causing it to burst or explode in the mash. We cannot under any circumstance avoid bursting when we are pressed except...God's providental hand controls the amount of pressure that is allowed to be exerted toward us. That means that everything we go through has already been across His desk. And...He is allowing us to endure it for the purpose of our growth and strength, not in our flesh, but in our spirit.

Things of life may drill us into the ground and our "outward man" may be dying, but our inward man or spirit man is being renewed every day.

I know what you're thinking, where the heck do you find the strength to keep on keeping on when you are being beat down by life? By taking your focus off self and looking to the Lord in FAITH to sustain you through whatever it is for however long it lasts. Not too many days ago I was at a very low point. My daughter and my sister both tried to encourage me, but I still felt a cloud hanging over my head. I opened the Bible looking for an answer and it all just seemed like words, so I did the only thing I know to do, pushed back the coffee table got on the floor and prepared to wrestle with God. I think the key comes in grabbing hold, hanging on and refusing to let go until He blesses you. Beating on the door and yelling, "Father, I'm out here on your doorstep and until you come and show me the direction you have for me and some road out the the mess that is my life, I'm going to stay on your doorstop waiting for an answer! Sometimes at that point, I wonder if He can even hear me, because it seems like I'm talking to myself, but He hears, and soon, He will answer. The key is sticking there and not giving up!

Be encouraged today and know that if we do not lose heart, and keep faith in the fact that He will come through (in His time not ours), we will see God's renewing power!!

It started again

It started again. You know, the dream. The last time was 2003 and for a solid year there was this dream that I couldn't make sense of. It involved me and one other person that I didn't recognize. The next year, I finally met the person, but nothing in the dream ever happened. Now, it started again. Different person (someone I don't recognize), different place (someplace I've never been), same dream...I'm sitting in a large beautiful room that resembles some sort of indoor garden, he enters and begins to speak to me as if I not only know him, but have some sort of attachment or relationship to him.
What could it mean, who is this guy, why do I keep having this dream?
I'm open to interpretations!!

On My Own Terms

I been thinkin'.... how often do I want something, but I want it to come when I want it to come, looking like what I want it to look like, smelling how I want it to smell and costing what I want it to cost. If it can't be exactly like I want it...then I don't want it.
Sometimes, I think I want something and then when it appears that I may get what I said I wanted, I am ready to move in the opposite direction!! What is that??? It smacks of self, which I readily recognize and acknowledge as "not good" but there has to be another facet to it all. I don't fancy myself to be a selfish person, as a matter of fact, most of the time, I would say, I'm overly generous, but there are those days when I say, I want it my way, on my own terms or not at all!
Lately, there has been particular aspect of my life that I would just as soon be completely extracted! Today some things that were supposed to happen did not and all of a sudden it began to look like there was a conspiracy to give me at least a portion of what I'd been wanting. I freaked!! How could they? Why would they? What is going on? Then, there are those days when my mouth wants to go off and my head says "Shut-up girl, you've got bills to pay!!!"

Future plans?

Probably more than anything else, I guess I should consider these devotional thoughts or sermon fodder, either way, my thoughts lately have been on Jeremiah 29:11 and the fact that some days I feel like a prisoner in my own life drama being played out. After church yesterday I was chatting with the Pastor, his wife and a friend and these are the thoughts I walked away with:

People all over ponder about the future. Young and old worry about where they will be and what life will become. We can also have assurance that His plan for you is best accomplished by you. When you believe that, every piece of the puzzle will fit together. Before construction started on you, a Master architect laid down a blueprint or a plan. In the mind of the Master, every dimension of our life was designed, calculated and drawn. All the things needed to complete the project were considered in the mind of the Master Architect, even location, material, color, labor cost and problems in completing the build. He began the framework and contracted electricians to do the wiring, carpenters to do the woodwork, roofers, flooring specialist and plumbers. Every detail was carried out in order, making sure the structure would be secure, strong and sound. Built just as the plans indicated. The dimensions of each room, the door size, even the swing of the door and the placement of the electrical outlets was planned ahead and detailed on the blueprints.
In Matthew, Jesus tells us about the difference between a wise and foolish man. He who is wise and he who is foolish was determined by where each chooses to build his house. Often we hear about people who seem to have it all, only to see it all come crashing down. I think about all those multimillion dollar homes built in the California hills when the mudslides started or all those expensive homes lost to the fires. In God we have a sure and solid foundation that will stand against any future storms. Hard work and persistence; not even cheating will add up to success if we do not follow the Lord’s direction. Without God’s wisdom and direction, we will face winds of change, hurricanes and tornadoes of life that will come and blow until things fall apart. Whatever is built in trust, faith and hope can not and will not be snatched from His hand.
If we count on good looks or the depth of our personality or relationships or even how much money we have to give us security or a firm foundation on which to build, we are setting ourselves up for a big letdown, there is only one foundation we can trust!
Colors, wallpaper, tile and carpet may all seem to be small things, but are all choices we can make as individual homeowners, making sure those choices are right or righteous affect the final beauty of the open house. Before you go any further with your plan, consult the master builder and make sure that your plan and His fit together perfectly or you could end up with a structure that does not meet code, has failed inspections and simply will not function as an inhabitable dwelling place for His Holy Spirit.

Catching Up

Today, I am catching up on my email.

I read this one below from my sister and as surprised to realize she was thinking of me as she read it. Strange thing is, today her view of me encouraged me or perhaps the Lord used her view to cause me to look at myself. I have often felt recently that this load was too heavy to bear and I just didn’t want to continue. I have even cried out to the Lord to allow my escape. He has been silent. That kind of silence that causes you know He heard you, but is just choosing not to speak. He is close enough, I can even feel His breath, but He doesn’t reply to my insane ramblings.

How often I forget that my dragging the “unbearable load” some short distance is all that God needs me to do in order to accomplish what He wants to do, and I have oft times given up the struggle just before He is ready to change my circumstances. Today I am reminded that the Lord never sends us on a journey without a clearly defined destination. When we pack ourselves up and get on the train, there is a clear point and place that we are destined to disembark. The hard part is allowing the Lord to guide us to the correct stop and be willing to stay on the train until we reach that place.

Today, I am reminded that there is a purpose in everything! I am also reminded that though I feel small, unimportant and know that my opinion is insignificant, where I am positioned serves a purpose as well. I don’t want to and I don’t see how it will make a difference, but today I will choose to say; 'God, I don't know why You want me to carry this load. I can see no good in it and it's awfully heavy. But, if You want me to carry it, I will.'
Below is the note from my sister that spurred my thoughts and the story that spurred her thoughts:

This is precious—when I read it, I couldn’t help thinking about the parts that we ALL play in His awesome unfolding picture. When I look at someone like my sister Wanda, who works for the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association—I can see her part. God has used her in powerful ways in some of the greatest tasks because she has been willing to be used of Him in the small details. It hasn’t always been easy, but she has persisted. I wondered as I read this story if I have been there doing my small part when He had a purpose that I didn’t understand. I hope as you read this story it encourages you as it encourages me in my desire to serve Him well. I thought of you today and I smiled. Blessings


The Ant and the Contact Lens: A True Story ...Wow!
Brenda was almost halfway to the top of the tremendous granite cliff. She was standing on a ledge where she was taking a breather during this, her first rock climb. As she rested there, the safety rope snapped against her eye and knocked out her contact lens . 'Great', she thought. 'Here I am on a rock ledge, hundreds of feet from the bottom and hundreds of feet to the top of this cliff, and now my sight is blurry.'

She looked and looked, hoping that somehow it had landed on the ledge. But it just wasn't there.

She felt the panic rising in her, so she began praying. She prayed for calm, and she prayed that she may find her contact lens..

When she got to the top, a friend examined her eye and her clothing for the lens, but it was not to be found. Although she was calm now that she was at the top, she was saddened because she could not clearly see across the range of mountains. She thought of the bible verse 'The eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth.'

She thought, 'Lord, You can see all these mountains. You know every stone and leaf, and You know exactly where my contact lens is. Please help me.'

Later, when they had hiked down the trail to the bottom of the cliff they met another party of climbers just starting up the face of the cliff. One of them shouted out, 'Hey, you guys! Anybody lose a contact lens?'



Well, that would be startling enough, but you know why the climber saw it? An ant was moving slowly across a twig on the face of the rock, carrying it!

The story doesn't end there. Brenda's father is a cartoonist. When she told him the incredible story of the ant, the prayer, and the contact lens, he drew a cartoon of an ant lugging that contact lens with the caption, 'Lord, I don't know why You want me to carry this thing. I can't eat it, and it's awfully heavy. But if this is what You want me to do, I'll carry it for You.'

I think it would do all of us some good to say, 'God, I don't know why You want me to carry this load. I can see no good in it and it's awfully heavy. But, if You want me to carry it, I will.'

God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called!

Yes, I do love GOD. He is my source of existence and my Savior. He keeps me functioning
each and every day Without Him, I am nothing, but with Him....I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me. ( Phil . 4:13)

xkl rocks

ok, so i've been kinda busy the last few weeks, but i finally got some time this weekend to try and catch up. i have to take a minute to share with you about what i was busy with. this year in knoxville, i've been responsible for the kids program. so as not to be confused with the program at dollywood, ours was called Xtreme Kidz Live. it took place on saturday morning april 26th. 6200 kids attended and it was if i can say so myself "awesome"!! i had the privilege of working with an awesome group of individuals in the kids committee and in the awesome special guests we selected. each committee member was responsible for a particular aspect of the event and each one took his or her role and was expert at it! karyn headed the choir and praise team, sondra took on hospitality of the special guests, jean oversaw prayer, melissa was responsible for the flag team and chris was the arrangements man. jim was the mastermind that recruited them all. they each did an awesome job.
our special guests were chaos on wheels (i just love josh, one of the riders, what a heart for Jesus and what a sweet spirit!!), little tommy (what a joy to work with) and God rocks! they were electric and the audience enjoyed an awesome program. there were songs and motions from the choir, bikes whizzing across the floor, God rocks on the stage and tommy telling jokes. the kids of east tennessee enjoyed an action filled morning. then tommy settled in to share with the children what was the most "extreme gift" they could ever receive and what they needed to do in order to get it. 188 kids came forward to accept the gift. it may not have been the number that everyone anticipated, but for me, it was climatic of my tenure with bgea. in all my 12 years with the ministry, i have never been in a role that allowed me to see the "fruit" of my labor so clearly. it was a moment that i will not forget for all my life. to make the moment even more special, it was shared with my mom helen and my daughter sandrine. i feel very blessed!
additionally, i maintained my normal crusade responsibilities in caring for accessiblities, deaf/hard of hearing. languages (spanish), prayer, and love in action. our love in action project this city was hygiene packs for homeless men and women. we collected well over 800 packets and KARM (knoxville area rescue mission) will be responsible for distribution. what the Lord has in store next for me, i know not, but for sure, Hattie's House awaits!

liars, cheaters and self promoters

you know what i hate? liars! especially the kind that accuse someone of something that they are doing themselves! know what else i hate? people whose goal is to elevate self. my discerning spirit tells me that both happen much more frequently than i am willing to admit and that both are happening right under my nose. over the last few weeks i have watched people's personality change right before my eyes and lucky for me, there is "something" in me that allows me to pick up on it quicker than a blink. all i have to say to that revelation however, is...your's is coming! when you say things and respond to others based on that bad things they did, don't go there yourself. it'll come back to bite you on the butt! once again its about that principle of sowing and reaping. when you sow good, you reap good. when you sow lies, guess what???!!!!
i know that it is not the american norm for us to "consider others more important than ourselves, but last year, i watched someone get torn down just so the one doing the tearing down could take their place! you know the old adage, "history repeats itself"! i promise it does!! all of it, the good and the bad! so if you've seen bad repaid with worse, take heart, it's gonna happen again! get ready, this time, it'll be you! funny how we pass the same folks going up that you pass going down! yes, i'm talking about you!

This morning I was spending a few moments in the Word before getting ready to go to work. It was about 6:30 and I was looking at Galatians 6:9. It says "And let us not grow weary in well doing for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart." Reap is a agricultural term that refers to fruit or harvest we gain from the seeds we plant. God uses something as practical as planting seeds and reaping the harvest from those seeds as an illusration to teach us!

Do you believe that God has a timetable? It's not unlike the timetable of a farmer. In due time all seeds we plant will grow. Some will have a quick return and we will see the efforts of our planting right away. Some will have a much slower return and the fruits of those seeds may take years, even a lifetime. It may actually be our children or our children's children that will reap harvest from that seed we planted.

But, herein lies that BIG question. What kind of seed are you planting? What sort of reward do you expect to reap? If we sow wisely, we can expect to yield good fruit, but if we do not, we can not. Too many people spend years sowing the type of seed that produces fruit that really should have never been planted and they have waited and expect to see real fruit from their planting, we call those people disillusioned. Verse 10 says "Therefore as we have opportunity let us do good to all especially those in the household of faith." Most of the times, its our brothers and sisters, our family that we treat the worst.

While we wait for the fruit, we must not grow weary, but keep on keeping on. Refuse to be discouraged. Give and keep giving, love and keep loving and know that God's harvest is guaranteed! No rain will ruin His crop. We have to live and walk in expanctancy that we will see our planted seed yield.

Don't believe that I have been successful in always planting good fruit or that everything I plant has sprouted into a boutiful harvest, that would be far from truth! I am however working daily to grow in God that I might be able to recognize easy and quickly when I am not producing as I should!
Be Blessed!

Riding the Waves

Okay, the trouble with being older is it takes a while to figure these things out, but not to worry, I've gotten the hang of it!

I just wanted to say...you just never know! You just never know what God has in store for your life! I've never really been one for big surprise, so the fact that someone else has control of my ultimate destiny hasn't been my favorite cup of tea, but the fact that God has me in the palm of my hand and even though I have no clue what surprise is around the corner, He knows! He knows and He sets me up! I just imagine that He's up there looking down at me and poking Jesus with his elbow saying, "Jesus check this out, look what I've got in store for Wanda!"

There have been a few surprises around every corner these last few days and I really can't say why, what I can say, is the Big Guy has got my back, He knows what's up, He has a purpose in everything and I am not going to question His plan. Today, I'm gonna just ride the wave!! It's taken a long time for me to get the place of being able to just hang on the board and ride in out but, take it from me, it's the best way. Sometimes our nature wants to try another approach or swim back out and see if we can get a better grip or wait for a bigger wave, but the truth is, once we learn to ride what's coming at us, He can teach us all the tricks we need to know in order for it to be the best ride we've ever taken. Ain't that something!!

God is good and if we give Him control, there is more fun in store than you ever bargained for!

Only the beginning

Hi, just checking in to say this is only the beginning. I am extremely busy, but my daughter says I need to take the time to blog!