I Resolve - Technically It's Still A New Year!

Wow, it's been a while since I took time to put my thoughts down and my how much has changed! I've been travelling over much of the southeastern United States spending time in North and South Carolina, West Virgina and Tennessee as well as taking time in Texas for Christmas and New Year. January found me in Atlanta and Baton Rouge but today, I'm back in Knoxville...at least for the next couple of weeks! For a woman that has always fancied herself to be a home body, these last few years have proved to be quite an adventure!

Most don't know it, but I have a little touch of OCD and could be considered by some as a big-ole-germ-o-phob! Hotels, public bathrooms and buffets are big issues for me, so you'll understand why all this travelling takes a great deal of faith! For a long while, the cleaniness of places was a major part of my verbal descriptions. Oh the stories I could tell you about the places I've been and my efforts to keep it all together and not freak out when dealing with the "dirty"!! Why, you wonder, am I sharing all the sorted details of one of the issues of my life?? Because today, I resolve to try to quit being such a clean freak or at least to try not to freak out about dirt!

I promise to try not to wipe off the silverware before I use it when I'm out! I resolve to not check glassware and coffee cups for lipstick from the previous users! I promise to try to use public restrooms without a look of disgust and revulsion on my face as I emerge! You probably won't believe this, but for me, this is quite a resolution; it would probably be easier for me to resolve to lose 100 lbs but I'm going to give it my best effort!

One last thing, no matter how hard I try or how much I change, clean body and fingernails...still a must!!

Is He Out There?

Every single women I know has had that thought...people say God created someone for everyone, at least everyone that wants a someone! I think many of today's single woman have given up on that pie in the sky, pot of gold at the end of the rainbow dream. I'm sure that half the men that these women have been searching for are either in prison or living some crazy alternative lifestyle!

I persist however in my lifetime obsession of trying to match make everyone who is alone! I can't help it, and I don't know what it is about me that makes me feel that everyone has to be with someone! Sadly, there isn't someone for everyone or to put it immortal words of my friend's grandmother, "is it the someone worth giving up your aloneness for"? That's always something to be considered!!

Yesterday I was at it again. There is this guy I met recently and this girl I met even more recently that I thought might make a "love" connection. She seemed a little more interested than he did, but he smiled big and acted friendly when they met. I don't know if anything will become of it. Is it a budding romance or just two folks graciously going through an uncomfortable "set-up".
Sometime I think it might be time to retire my matchmaker and then I remember SMM and JLD, and I know...I can't give it up yet! Just two more good ones and I'll quit, I promise!!

It's been a long time

This morning I was up at 5:30, yes, it's Saturday, but there was a meeting to attend. In this life, there always seems to be something to steal Saturday, but no matter, most of the time, its worth it...today was no different. Following the meeting, the gang all went to lunch and just hung out for a few minutes.

It's been raining here for the last 3 days, overflow from Faye, but the sun finally broke through this afternoon so, there was plenty of heat and humidity!!
Karen and I had made plans yesterday to go to a movie and we headed over to the theather near the office to see Hancock. It is a different movie, it was interesting and good. Karen and I both enjoyed it!! Then ran by the grocery store on our way to Ron and Kathy's.

Ron had decided that the Choir badges needed to be inserted in the badge covers so at about 5pm we started the badge stuffing process. His reward for us helping him was that he would order pizza and ice cream for dessert. What fun we had, laughing at stupid jokes and just enjoying one another, Ron, Kathy, Maynette, Karen and I had such an enjoyable evening. We ordered the pizza and watched "No Reservations" while we ate, worked and reminised. It been a long time since I laughed like that! It so much fun to get together with old friends and just be silly sometime! Ron, of course was the target of most of our fun!! The only thing that could have made it better is for Drine, Bob and family, Jenny and the Pylants to be there!!

We've got to get that reunion planned!!

Not Broken

First let me apologize for my absence! It's been partly being out of pocket and another part being lazy! In my absence however, I have been doing some thinking, so I will be sharing about some of those thoughts with you here!

One thought is about Bible people. Have you ever wondered about the people Bible stories are written about. They seem to weather all kinds of junk and still stand strong. There are days that I wish for that measure of faith and other days when I am almost sure I already have it. There are those days when I am sure I could slay a dragon should one be fool enough to try me and days when I do my fool best just to get out of bed!

The Bible says in 2 Corinthians that we would be pressed...but not destroyed!! Some times it seems as though we aren't only pressed, but flattened like a pancake, and those are the days when it isn't so easy to jump back up, shake yourself out and get back into the race. But guess what? Those are the very days that we need to the most.

I read a devotional written by my former pastor and he talked about exerting pressure on a balloon, causing it to burst or explode in the mash. We cannot under any circumstance avoid bursting when we are pressed except...God's providental hand controls the amount of pressure that is allowed to be exerted toward us. That means that everything we go through has already been across His desk. And...He is allowing us to endure it for the purpose of our growth and strength, not in our flesh, but in our spirit.

Things of life may drill us into the ground and our "outward man" may be dying, but our inward man or spirit man is being renewed every day.

I know what you're thinking, where the heck do you find the strength to keep on keeping on when you are being beat down by life? By taking your focus off self and looking to the Lord in FAITH to sustain you through whatever it is for however long it lasts. Not too many days ago I was at a very low point. My daughter and my sister both tried to encourage me, but I still felt a cloud hanging over my head. I opened the Bible looking for an answer and it all just seemed like words, so I did the only thing I know to do, pushed back the coffee table got on the floor and prepared to wrestle with God. I think the key comes in grabbing hold, hanging on and refusing to let go until He blesses you. Beating on the door and yelling, "Father, I'm out here on your doorstep and until you come and show me the direction you have for me and some road out the the mess that is my life, I'm going to stay on your doorstop waiting for an answer! Sometimes at that point, I wonder if He can even hear me, because it seems like I'm talking to myself, but He hears, and soon, He will answer. The key is sticking there and not giving up!

Be encouraged today and know that if we do not lose heart, and keep faith in the fact that He will come through (in His time not ours), we will see God's renewing power!!

It started again

It started again. You know, the dream. The last time was 2003 and for a solid year there was this dream that I couldn't make sense of. It involved me and one other person that I didn't recognize. The next year, I finally met the person, but nothing in the dream ever happened. Now, it started again. Different person (someone I don't recognize), different place (someplace I've never been), same dream...I'm sitting in a large beautiful room that resembles some sort of indoor garden, he enters and begins to speak to me as if I not only know him, but have some sort of attachment or relationship to him.
What could it mean, who is this guy, why do I keep having this dream?
I'm open to interpretations!!

On My Own Terms

I been thinkin'.... how often do I want something, but I want it to come when I want it to come, looking like what I want it to look like, smelling how I want it to smell and costing what I want it to cost. If it can't be exactly like I want it...then I don't want it.
Sometimes, I think I want something and then when it appears that I may get what I said I wanted, I am ready to move in the opposite direction!! What is that??? It smacks of self, which I readily recognize and acknowledge as "not good" but there has to be another facet to it all. I don't fancy myself to be a selfish person, as a matter of fact, most of the time, I would say, I'm overly generous, but there are those days when I say, I want it my way, on my own terms or not at all!
Lately, there has been particular aspect of my life that I would just as soon be completely extracted! Today some things that were supposed to happen did not and all of a sudden it began to look like there was a conspiracy to give me at least a portion of what I'd been wanting. I freaked!! How could they? Why would they? What is going on? Then, there are those days when my mouth wants to go off and my head says "Shut-up girl, you've got bills to pay!!!"

Future plans?

Probably more than anything else, I guess I should consider these devotional thoughts or sermon fodder, either way, my thoughts lately have been on Jeremiah 29:11 and the fact that some days I feel like a prisoner in my own life drama being played out. After church yesterday I was chatting with the Pastor, his wife and a friend and these are the thoughts I walked away with:

People all over ponder about the future. Young and old worry about where they will be and what life will become. We can also have assurance that His plan for you is best accomplished by you. When you believe that, every piece of the puzzle will fit together. Before construction started on you, a Master architect laid down a blueprint or a plan. In the mind of the Master, every dimension of our life was designed, calculated and drawn. All the things needed to complete the project were considered in the mind of the Master Architect, even location, material, color, labor cost and problems in completing the build. He began the framework and contracted electricians to do the wiring, carpenters to do the woodwork, roofers, flooring specialist and plumbers. Every detail was carried out in order, making sure the structure would be secure, strong and sound. Built just as the plans indicated. The dimensions of each room, the door size, even the swing of the door and the placement of the electrical outlets was planned ahead and detailed on the blueprints.
In Matthew, Jesus tells us about the difference between a wise and foolish man. He who is wise and he who is foolish was determined by where each chooses to build his house. Often we hear about people who seem to have it all, only to see it all come crashing down. I think about all those multimillion dollar homes built in the California hills when the mudslides started or all those expensive homes lost to the fires. In God we have a sure and solid foundation that will stand against any future storms. Hard work and persistence; not even cheating will add up to success if we do not follow the Lord’s direction. Without God’s wisdom and direction, we will face winds of change, hurricanes and tornadoes of life that will come and blow until things fall apart. Whatever is built in trust, faith and hope can not and will not be snatched from His hand.
If we count on good looks or the depth of our personality or relationships or even how much money we have to give us security or a firm foundation on which to build, we are setting ourselves up for a big letdown, there is only one foundation we can trust!
Colors, wallpaper, tile and carpet may all seem to be small things, but are all choices we can make as individual homeowners, making sure those choices are right or righteous affect the final beauty of the open house. Before you go any further with your plan, consult the master builder and make sure that your plan and His fit together perfectly or you could end up with a structure that does not meet code, has failed inspections and simply will not function as an inhabitable dwelling place for His Holy Spirit.